Sunday, April 26, 2015

Garage Sale

Today i did my first garage sale with my friend. It's just that i have so many clothes i don't wanna wear anymore even though some of them have only been used once or twice. My mom usually gave them to... i don't know exactly but this time i decided to have them sold cause the idea of doing this was fun. So me and my friend Take sorta headed right away this morning to the place and we sold some pieces there, yeay!

But because we didn't arrive early enough we couldn't get a shady spot. So it was only awhile after it became too hot that we decided to go home.

Things i learned today:

1. Never forget to bring your folded umbrella.
2. To come earlier is better (most of the times).
3. "Uang Sampah" means "Uang Keamanan" means "Uang Preman".

Yeah the thing about point three...

People are allowed to sell and promote stuffs there. There were various kinds of stands and booths and the place were crowded by people doing sunday morning workouts. When i was sitting there waiting for buyers to come while Take was buying some foods for breakfast, a man came to me and said "uang sampah" without looking at my face. I asked him what he was talking about because i didn't quite catch that and he repeated again and i got it.

"Uang sampah"

Anda memang sampah, pak.

That guy was scary and he looked like he was tough and was acting tough. I wouldn't stand a chance fighting with him or even arguing probably and actually i wasn't really bothered to pay some but i was just a bit annoyed to know that this kind of thing still happen and i experienced it myself.

But still, it was fun though. I guess i'm gonna do it again next week.

By the way, i just watched The Ark's stage debut because Kemal asked me and i found myself falling for them. I've followed their account on YouTube so i guess now i'm into other K-thingies besides honeyed tteokbokki. This group is really really good that i've been raping the repeat button watching their performance again and again.

I probably should wash the hype with Annot Rhül's pieces for lullaby.

No i'll watch it again just one more time.

Saturday, April 25, 2015

There goes the weekend

I stumbled upon this fancy monochromatic film in which the protagonist plays chess with the Death.

I'm so sorry. I actually have some assignments. They are actually group assignments but i always think that before going on group discussion i need to get the big picture of what the group will deal with and the part that i'm gonna take. I have four. About linguistic, communism, indonesian diplomacy, and film. But kill me, i've been wasting the leisure time watching some films. One of them is this superb work of Ingar Bergman. I actually want to go on watching Persona (1966) but i guess i'll work on the materials for the film review assignment first.

I started watching some monochromatic films like two years ago and have been watching some more ever since. I really like sci-fi with their incredible effects but these old dimes are also fine.

By the way, i really recommend this film. There are many symbols in it, a kind of film that makes you contemplate. Prolly i should make the review.

but yeah, i've got things to do...

Six Strings (Mixtape)

Six Strings on 8tracks

1. Photograph by Ed Sheeran
2. On a Day Just Like This by Peewee Gaskins
3. Bad Law by Sondre Lerche
4. Di Atas Kapal Kertas by Banda Neira
5. 曖昧に逸れる by School Food Punishment
6. No. 1 Party Anthem by Arctic Monkeys
And ignore the 7th and 8th track. 8tracks won't allow less than 8 tracks per mixtape :/

Ketika kamu tersesat sendirian
Entah kemana kakimu mengajakmu
Maumu pun sepertinya tak menuntunmu
Ajak saja aku untuk jadi pengganti, dari
Lagu yang terus terulang di kepalamu
Fantasi-fantasi gila yang mengganggu
Aku saja yang menemani
Urungkan niat sepi untuk membungkam
Ziarah ke "Yang Telah" ini sudahi saja
Ayo kutemani pulang
Nanti kubuatkan minuman hangat

Well, thank you for these six months.

<awkward smile>

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Monday, April 20, 2015

Bulan di Atas Kuburan

I just watched this remake of Asrul Sani's Bulan di Atas Kuburan after lectures. Some months ago there was a talkshow of this film at my faculty and i was asked to read a poetry in tribute of Sitor Situmorang, whose very short verse is the inspiration of this film. I watched the trailer and thought i would give this film a try and today i just did and i'm not disappointed. It's a nice film.

The producer of the 70s Bulan Di Atas Kuburan was Sjuman Djaja. If you have watched Ada Apa Dengan Cinta you may be familiar with his name. But we are not talking about the past are we? Let's move on to this contemporary work done well by Edo W. F. Sitanggang. The story starts with Sahat (Rio Dewanto), a man who wrote a novel about the homeland and Tigor (Donny Alamsyah), a driver of a minibus that we familiarly call angkot, who decide to go to Jakarta, following their friend, Sabar (Tio Pakusadewo) who claims that he has been leading a  successful life in Jakarta but turns out to be a lower class citizen who lives in a poor neighborhood. As the story develops, these characters find the that while the big city is very promising, it is also a fraud who hides the harsh reality behind its glimmering dreams.

From the beginning i'd been captivated by the scenes of the greenery of Samosir. The shots of the land and the lake are breathtakingly beautiful that the film makes me ashamed for not knowing it before. The film does it well on portraying the beauty of nature and the hustle-bustle of the big city. I particularly like the aerial shots when the characters are strolling down a narrow way amongst the packed houses of Jakarta. It's banal yet picturesque in its own way and more importantly it projects the economic and social condition of Jakarta which is to me one of the reminders for us that the film wants to give.

The characters of this film are strongly built and the dialogues they say represent them well. For example my favorite character, Mona (Atiqah Hasiholan). Through her dialogues we can see that she is indeed a self-sufficient, bright, and visionary woman. A woman who's been raised in wealthy family and is well educated. And just like Sahat defines her, she is romantic. The critics of the big city spoken by her are articulated in a way that seems like they come out from the literature she reads. They are also outspoken, expressing her exhaustion of Jakarta.

This film contains so many messages that it wants to tell and being the plus of this film, they are also being the minus. Because this film has so many things to say yet is limited by duration, some subplot developments are a little too jumpy. For example the relationship building between Sahat-Mona and Tigor-Nissa. At a point i found that the characters have spent some years in Jakarta yet the film fails to make us feel the flow. I understand though. I find the messages delivered significant for audience and the film itself in order to be a solid work.

To mention the scoring of this film is a must too. The songs are in batak language and both the melody and the lyrics are relaxing and fit the sheer melancholy that is fleeting in the film. They have both traditional and modern touches in every tune.

In the end i want to say that i'm quite satisfied with this film for despite the jumpy story developments here and there, succeeding in giving quite dense social and cultural critics yet still manage to be an easily enjoyable film.


I'm so glad that now some local films provide english subtitle in theatre so that whenever i feel like telling my foreigner friends to watch them, they can understand it easier.

Oh. And i have high expectation for local film production! Let's pray for the best and support the film makers!

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Korean Culture Day 2015

When i got the ticket of KCD from Kemal i was like...

Mampus! gue kan gak ngerti ke-korea-an sama sekali.

It was Saturday morning. I headed straight from Kutek to Balairung by ojek (lemme mention it because i really love tukang ojek UI for the fee is so much cheaper compared to tukang ojek in Priok).

Then i walked towards the people queuing to enter the event area. When i was queuing i saw mas-mas with shocking bright neon colored niion sling bag and he smiled to me. Iya, it was Kemal. Thanks to that bag it was very easy for me to look for him during the event.

They use the identity bracelet system for the visitors so that it's easier for us if we have to leave the area for awhile and go back again which i find convenient for a forgetful person like me who forgets her stuffs back at home most of the time.

Entering the area i could see the backdrop they provided for photobooth but i went straight to the bazaar area. They divided it into two zones. First, located near the hall is the area for sponsors. There were only two stands which focused on selling food, a stand which sold packed tteokbokki (and they give testers!) and the other one sold japanese foods and drinks, there were also the stands of korean university, hanbok photobooth, and a stand of a cosmetic brand.

The other stands were located outside in the bazaar tenants area and the visitors had to take a tour around the building just to reach there and buy food which i found kind of inconvenient. But i asked about that and they said they knew but they didn't have other choice because there's a regulation from UI prohibiting them to use the more strategic area because it is feared that if it is used as a bazaar area it might make the place dirty. So, i'm fine with that.

Bazaar Area

Later my friends from SGRC UI came and i spent the rest of the day with them. I was surprised that i enjoy the event. There were cute kindergarten kids singing korean and indonesian songs, karaoke, dance cover, gugaksarang, arumba, cabaret, etc.

My friend Ahadi came onto the stage when the MCs challenged the audiences to do a dance battle and he won it easily. He really loves to dance and is very energetic. Me and the others literally screamed his name frantically when we saw him on stage.

The event was ended by the performance from the long awaited guest star, Eru. I didn't know him so while the others moved closer to the stage, i chose to move closer to the wall.

I like the stage lighting.

They are the winner of the dance cover competition. Sexy and powerful, they do deserve to win.

When i headed to the bazaar area one of the crews called out and said "Pohon harapannya! biar langgeng sama kemal!" but i just giggled cause i didn't find the idea of having our names hanging in an open area like that amusing. But it was a nice decoration, though!

I was surprised that i could enjoy the event from the opening until the end since i'm not even ke-korea-an.

Thank you for BKK UI for holding a korean event that a person who doesn't follow the pop culture like me can also enjoy. Music brings us here! And thank you, Kemal for the ticket. And thank you, Tyas, Ahadi, Arung, because of you guys i wasn't alone and thank you Kak Dudung and Faiz for accompanying me post-event. Instead of spending the saturday shutting myself in my room perusing or doing reviews, this was a lot better.

Photographs by @korcultureday


"Woke up in the morning feeling like Gregor Samsa. Or maybe this memory of mine is synthesized. Maybe last night i was a hideous bug and now i just metamorphosed into a hideous human. Only that much of me that hasn't changed. The other knowledge like the aftertaste of coffee i had before sleep or the fact that i really had a cup of coffee, the fact that i have piles of assignments due next week, and the fact that i have a strong yet delicate emotion towards a certain human are all fresh from the oven. Today is actually brand new. But think about it. Whether i am right or wrong, i have to embrace every new day not being sure whether the stuffs happened yesterdays were really true. The yesterdays have turned into mere knowledge and it is not about the knowledge that matters but how you use it."

Posted that on my instagram page as a bittersweet companion of  a distorted monochromatic self potrait. I mentioned "hideous" twice as a touch of sentimentality cause hey, i posted some of self potraits of mine and that kind of means i thought i looked good enough to be seen by people, right? Not hideous. So if it's not on behalf of effects, that word actually is a bullshit.

So, because i have let my experience touched by exaggeration that means it has turned into a fiction. But what power do i have to know whether the perception i got of the thing happened was true? Whether my perspective is reliable. The memories are after all mere mental images of the real material world.

Yes i'm kidding.
Why do i have to tell people every single time i'm joking?
I guess i should stop.
LOL I won't.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

The Theory of Imitation Game and Soundtracks

...because everything has explanation.

I've been in love with Jóhann Jóhannsson's compositions for the soundtracks of this lovely film, The Theory of Everything. And i just found out that he also made the soundtrack for The Prisoner, the film in which Mas Gyllenhaal and Mas Jackman main bareng (i really want to make some articles about the two of them cause i love how Gyllenhaal played on The Prisoner, Nightwalker, and Enemy (not Donnie Darko, though) and i like Mas Wolverine on Les Misérables and also when he played with Gyllenhaal but i guess not now).

When i watched the biopic i was caught by the musics on the background. If you have watched the movie you may recognize Cambridge, 1963 and Domestic Pressures. These two are my favorite.

Talking about The Theory of Everything, do you guys see how different it is with The Imitation Game? While TIG focuses on the main character, the brainy, TToE focuses on... domestic pressures... no i'm just kidding. It has marriage life as its motives.  It depicts the relationships between the characters. Which makes it lovely. I'm not saying TIG is not enjoyable, but they are enjoyable in different ways. Why do i compare these two anyway? Well, they both are 2014 and Oscar and biopic films :3

I may say that TIG has more burdens. Like it was made to make people know more about Alan Turing cause the big thing he had done long ago was kept hidden and no one knew about his importance. Also it feels like it was made to promote gender equality with informing that it was hard to come out back then. Alan Turing was chemically castrated for being a homosexual and therefore he committed suicide. A great person like him. Like this film says that we may lose a great person if the social system is being unfair. Gender equality has been encouraged these years.

I love how they did TToE. For those who is a fan of Stephen Hawking and his books, please don't expect geeky stuff from this film. The farthest the film goes geeky is this dialogue:

Jane Hawking: What about you? What are you?...

Stephen Hawking: Cosmologist, I'm a Cosmologist.

Jane Hawking: What is that? Stephen Hawking:

It is a kind of religion for intelligent atheists.


This is a romantic drama film and the poster says it well so please don't go all "this is drama!" cause yes it is. It's a biopic, not sci-fi.

TToE has many amazing shots. Picturesque and vividly moving.

This post wasn't meant to be a review, i just want to tell that i really like the soundtracks. It makes me remember about some other soundtracks i love like Whiplash's, Tron: Legacy which are composed by Daft Punk, Les Misérables', and Begin Again's. 

Saturday, April 11, 2015


We are past midterm period and i can say that this far, i really like this semester. Firstly, because some subjects like The Introduction of Philosophy and Modern Thoughts and Japan from Socio-Cultural Theory Perspective are really interesting. I just can't afford to skip those subjects. It's so lovely being in the class, learning about things that excite you. It's not like the others don't interest me, but these two subjects are special. I've always loved theories and concepts, maybe it is a proof of the statement: human seeks for higher meaning in anything. That everything happens for a reason. That everything has explanation. Not really, though. I just enjoy it. Perhaps we do can provide some explanations of things happened but we might not be right since the ability to perceive, process, and conclude the mental image of things in each human is different. Explanation is not fixed, but we do have choice whether to get hold onto that or not.

Secondly, i've got lots of friends. Re-initiating Mata Sastra, joining SGRC, and joining YAP have helped me. My friends are all cool. My closest friends have their own uniqueness and fortes, my friends from Mata Sastra are these artsy people who enjoy art soulfully, the friends from SGRC are these fab and intelligent folks who have done awesome things, and my friends from YAP too are awesome and more importantly they care about their surroundings. I feel like the friendship between Nihongakka 2013 is getting more and more solid too and that makes me feel happy.

Recently, me and my close friends started some kind of benkyoukai with Yamashita-san. I don't feel like dropping the -san not to say going on to the first name base (lol) cause i've gotten used to calling him that way. He is a researcher and is staying here until this December. He said he wanted to learn the daily expressions of Bahasa Indonesia cause he barely gets this chance in BIPA program. When we planned it he said that he wanted to learn stuffs like "deh", "sih", "kan", "loh", etc.

So, yesterday i decided to do it at payung KP where we (Himaja) were having a closing party of Nihoncup so that i could get some help from the other friends since Vella was busy preparing the party, Tika was reciting odori, and Nikita and Janette had meeting to attend. I'm glad that my appointment with YAP is postponed so that i didn't have to rush to kuningan after exam. While helping a bit to prepare the food for the party, i tried to explain how to use those stuffs to Yamashita-san. There were Tara, Ceshia, and one by one the others chimed in and joined us.

But there is this thing bothering me. I've been skipping classes and i can't do it again or else i will not be able to take the final exam. But i'm afraid i have to since i still have schedules with YAP. Also, i have some other things bothering me like studying for the next JLPT that will be held on July, taking TOEFL exam, and fixing my self (Yeah, i feel like i need to fix some things in me like clumsiness and forgetfulness cause i don't want any of that bothering my friends and acquaintances when i am having a business with them. I want my friends to stop worrying about me too.).

But that's the challenge, right?!

Tuesday, April 07, 2015


I'm now a girl next door[x]. No, i'm just kidding. I have moved to a boarding house near my campus and i happened to live in the room next to my friend's. That's a lie. I chose this room on purpose. Before i moved here, i used to stay over in her room whenever we got events to attend and it was too late to go home. That became a habit, in my first week here i didn't sleep in my own room. I slept in hers. It's so convenient to have a friend next door. Whenever i'm afraid i can knock her room and have her company. We like to talk about stuffs. She identifies me as someone who isn't sensitive enough (i think now most of my closest ones say so) and i identify her as someone who is so sensitive. But we get along just fine.

It's less lonely to have her around. Especially because we are in the same major and community. She can play guitar and sometimes she would hum. Last night she hummed a song she made from the verse written by Sitor Situmorang and it's just lovely.

Tomorrow i have a midterm exam for "Introduction for Philosophy and Modern Thoughts" subject but instead of studying i am writing this post. It's just that before i start concentrating i need to slack off, my kind of slacking off, vomiting all thoughts and quenching the thirst of curiosity. Now let's just proceed to my thoughts, shall we?

Recently i opened a blog of someone i know. Identified as a self centered person. I expected this person to be nice. And self centered is just not the trait belonging to the nice side. But then, talking about nice and not nice, it's just so ethical and therefore, relative, not to say subjective.

But is it wrong to be self centered? Let's do some research (yes, i'm joking) on the terms and have a good look on the subject matter, which in this case, is that blog's owner.

I said that it's ethical and because ethic depends on certain culture therefore it's relative, so let's just be contextual so that we don't lose the grip. I guess i don't really have to narrow the context[x] as to talk about whether it is ethically nice or not from certain tribe's or ethnic's point of view. We perhaps can use our common sense[x] as social beings cause there are also some values that can be found in almost every culture and therefore can be universal. Contextually speaking, is it bad to be self centered[x]?

First we better first define what we mean as self centered. Cause we are raised by internet, i found this:

Self-centered people are not easy to spot; they are capable of being personable and kind upon meeting new people. -

There are various degrees of being self-centered, but the general traits are the same: putting themselves first, only caring about their needs and wants, being unable to see another’s perspective, being uncaring of others. There are times we all have been guilty of one or all of those traits, but what sets self-centered people apart is that they behave that way all the time.-

We may say that a self centered person is someone who don't see things from other's perspective (which makes me think that any conclusion produced with a self centered brain might be so narrow and poorly synthesized) and they can appear just fine in everyday's life. This article i stumbled upon said that you might not know it from the first time but as your relationship gets deeper or serious with this person, you may finally realize, even if it's already too late to run, that the person you get acquainted with is a self centered person and it may be difficult and frustating to deal with a self-centered person.

So now i can be more certain when i say that being self centered is bad. You can check the full article here.

Let's proceed.

I have read something which that article also said that self-centeredness can be correlated to narcissism[x].

Some of the symptoms of narcissism are:

An exaggerated sense of one's own abilities and achievements

I won't talk about this. It's such a good laughing matter and i'm afraid i might disturb my friend who is resting next door after handling karaoke competition event.

But yeah, we talked about how the person showed off. I'm kind of confused though. I mean, we need to do self branding and perhaps this person is just doing that. But i can't really believe that now after doing some comparisons between this person and others.

A constant need for attention, affirmation and praise

A sense of entitlement and expectation of special treatment

These traits can be seen existing in that person by looking at the social media. I'm sad. I guess it's because i have an information that this person makes facade and image with effort yet they don't turn out really good. Actually i could finally see it after being told for sometimes and saw it with my own eyes and experienced it myself before knowing it, just like what stated in the beginning, they are hard to spot. But some people can actually see it cause some of my friends told me the same thing before i could tell them so (and there's no way for me to just say so, bad thing about certain someone).

It's getting quite too elaborate for rants isn't it? So let's just proceed to the closing paragraph. I identify that person as a self-centered, and i pray to God to make that person realize how bad it can be for social life and not to make me become a self-centered person. Self-centeredness is bad if you want to lead a healthy social life. But not being self-centered doesn't mean you have to lose your self and be all altruist (but then again it's your choice). We need balance. As for myself, knowing that being self-centered is not socially good and knowing that it can be frustating to deal with one, and knowing how i feel towards self-centered person, i don't want to be one. I want to understand people more and learn more to know them more so that i can tell when people are happy, sad, and stuffs. I may not be naturally sensitive as a person but i can learn how to. And since i have reasons, i want to learn.

That person's blog

Friday, April 03, 2015

Melancholy is A Movement

Recently i told Kemal about the trailer of this film and we found it interesting that Joko Anwar played as the main actor, not the director. Knowing that the film has been released and tomorrow is a holiday, we decided to go watch it. After class, we talked for a while with some friends from SGRC at the faculty canteen. There were Kak Fey and Iput from Psychology. They will play with Teater Agora this month, that's why they've been going to FIB. There were Bintang and Ahadi who just went to Kafe Korea. And there were Bima and Dimas. Some of them had to go and it was only the four of us when we started talking about planning to go on a student exchange program. It's still a mere plan but it kinda excited me to hear Bima said that there's a good chance. This Bima guy is a really reliable informer. We from SGRC keep asking him about many sorts of things. Consulting to him about health, diet program, hairfall, etc.

After that i changed clothes and we went straight to the nearest movie theatre and bought the tickets. When we bought it, they asked us whether it was fine if it's only the two of us cause it was still empty. We were surprised but we were cool with that. I was wondering whether it's because it's a local movie while Fast and Furious 7 and Insurgent is currently now showing. Yeah, and Kemal said it's probably also because of the publication.

After watching it, i got the feeling that this kind of movie is still difficult to be accepted by most of indonesian people. Glad that we both liked it, but yeah... it seemed that it's not gonna be a hit. So sad. There's something contemplative about this movie and the style just suits my cup of tea. I love how they set each scene and dialogue. You might find it rather episodic, unlike the mainstream movies with building-climax-anticlimax arrangement. You can watch some fragments separately and still be able to get the picture. I guess i expect more from Richard Oh. I will watch his next movies (decided to follow his twitter and read his blog right away now).

I'm so glad that my country made this kind of movie and commercialized it. If you watch the movie you may get the feeling that this movie isn't gonna sell well-at least not this time-so the thing about commercializing it is kind of sad. But no, it's not the most important thing about creating a movie. Not about the profit that the movie will make. Through this movie, Richard tried to depict the irony of being a film maker in Indonesia while sometimes you should put aside your ideals cause the business needs you to be realistic and accept the fact that there are some demands that might not fit your ideals.

Menurut Richard Oh, film ini merupakan film drama seputar orang-orang film yang menggambarkan cita-cita seorang film maker di industri film yang kadang tidak selaras dengan aspirasi pencapaian yang diinginkannya. “Sering terjadi dilema yang dialami film maker di Indonesia, saat ingin berkarya sesuai keinginan namun terbentur dengan tawaran-tawaran membuat film yang tidak sesuai dengan keinginan kami, namun di lain pihak kebutuhan-kebutuhan hidup juga harus dipenuhi, itulah tantangan dan ironi yang kami hadapi” ujarnya. Selain itu Richard Oh menambahkan betapa kecilnya apresiasi masyarakat dan pemerintah kepada para film maker, atas kegelisahan-kegelisahan tersebut film ini pun dibuat bersama-sama. -

We stayed at angkringan for awhile after that. Discussing about death sentence, indonesian movie, and literature. I told him about Saija and Adinda and he told me about Kapal Van Der Wijck. In our opinion, The Trees and The Wild translates the emotion of the story into music perfectly. The emotion building and the climax at the end of the song, i can feel the emotion of the story. I'm really surprised with Multatuli's writing style. It's so damn good. I thought Max Havelaar was famous only because it revealed how bad colonialism was to the world, but now i see that it is even good as a literay work alone. The emotion building, the layer of sadness, the melancholy. Lovely.

I'm glad that we had such a good time. Too good for a couple who just nearly broke up?
I love you. See it.

Friday, March 20, 2015


Time is not linear

Björk - I Miss You

You are gorgeous, but i haven't met you yet, i remember, but it hasn't happened yet


Thursday, March 19, 2015

I Know You Are But What Am I?

"You are this"
"You are that"
Who are you?
"You are this"
"You are that"
Yeah, i know you are but what am i?
What am i?
I am a pretentious bitch who loves artsy stuff. My favorite book is philosophy. I bring sketch book everywhere. I don't listen to Top 40.
Yes, sarcasm at its best.

Sunday, March 15, 2015


I'm so happy i attended this music event even though i only watched 3 bands in the end: barasuara, sore, the trees and the wild (i wish i could watch banda neira but they performed at another stage). We (me and Kems) actually decided to buy the tickets after we heard that the trees and the wild would perform. We didn't really care about the others. But then we heard about the thing between the trees and the wild and barasuara  got curious about them too~

And they turned out to be this cool band with really enjoyable songs. Their music gave this strong feeling and what i like about them is they use the mother language, bahasa indonesia, they looked happy when they performed, and their interaction with the audience were good. True entertainer. And they also do good with the lyrics and... and... it's just so enjoyable.

And then i chilled with Sore~


I knew this band (the trees and the wild) from 2009 but honestly, i started to love them after Empati Tamako. I even decided to read a short story of mine with this song played by Cipaw at Pesta Sastra. And yesterday was the first time i managed to see them live. I was like, mas remedy i really love your artworks, i really do. But i can't help being a hysterical fan...

If i said barasuara are true entertainers, then the trees and the wild are artisans.

Photo by: kxfzn
I love how they did the stage. They gathered there at the center, playing such intense music. It was like a ritual. It was as if i could go trance. My favorite part was when they played "Saija". I simply love that song and Mas Remedy sang it wholeheartedly.

Saturday, March 14, 2015


"Why don't you ever light your cigarette?"

"If i do, i know it's gonna turn into ashes."

 Phoenix - Rome

Terkadang saya merasa seperti debu dalam asbak.

Hanya debu dalam asbak.

Dari perspektif saya yang non-perokok "hanya" debu dalam asbak itu terkesan lebih "hanya".

Terkadang saya merasa seperti lukisan yang ngepostmo-postmo yang kemudian mengecewakan orang-orang karena ternyata saya cuma...

colorful splatter of emotions


Lalu setelah mengetahuinya orang-orang akan pulang dari pameran.

Kemudian saya akan dicopot, lalu disimpan dalam kardus.

Atau dibuang dan dibiarkan kehujanan.

Wednesday, February 25, 2015


Kita ini cuma menumpang di sela-sela peraduan ruang dan waktu. Entah apa yang abadi atau adakah yang abadi aku tidak tahu. Aku tidak mau hilang di dalam pikiran yang berserakan di ruang ragu itu, aku mau berpura-pura saja bahwa di realita kita waktu memang fana dan kita abadi. "Kita" tak akan kehilangan esensi. (iya, aku sedang agak kepikiran soal esensi)

Yang fana adalah waktu. Kita abadi. - SDD

Menjemukan, rasa itu
Menafsir mimpi, sehalus sepi

Rasa hati, melawannya
Rasa hati, seandainya

Mari rasuk, merasuk

Bila kau rindu,
Aku 'kan datang segera


Kau rindukan waktu yang pergi
Datanglah kembali padaku
The Trees and The Wild - Malino

Pesan itu tiba saat saya sedang mendengarkan lagu itu. Lalu datang yang ini:

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Stay With Me by Sam Smith

Guess it's true, I'm not good at a one-night stand
But I still need love 'cause I'm just a man
These nights never seem to go to plan
I don't want you to leave, will you hold my hand?

Oh, won't you stay with me?
'Cause you're all I need
This ain't love, it's clear to see
But darling, stay with me

Why am I so emotional?
No, it's not a good look, gain some self-control
And deep down I know this never works
But you can lay with me so it doesn't hurt

I should have started writing on my assignment that's due tomorrow (actually i'm not a deadliner but this time i feel like doing it the night before the class i don't know why) but  here i am. Someone played the tune of this song on the piano put at Gd. IV FIB UI and it kinda stuck itself in my head. This song doesn't really speak me or you or us but some parts of it may relate to things happened to you and me separately and to us. Like the first lines~ it reminds me of a person who didn't end up being at a one-night stand cause he thought he needed love. He still does. I do too. And when the song goes on will you hold my hand? the scene of us sitting in the dark with you offering to hold hands would appear.

Oh, won't you stay with me? 'Cause you're all i need

Tuesday is not so ordinary with the "look who's there?", french fries, how-are-we-supposed-to-do-with-the-whipped-cream-?, and the staircase adventure. How i wanted us to stay like that longer.

Friday, February 13, 2015

Our Kind of Friday, The 13th

Friday, The 13th. I skipped a class to attend this awesome seminar.

I have chirpified the livetweets done by Suara Kita. Click here to see them.

"Apakah anda merasa jakarta tidak mempunyai tempat terbuka untuk bersetubuh?" Pak Rocky said in the beginning of the talk. I couldn't help laughing cause i was sitting with Kemal in the front row.

You can easily notice us because of Kemal's shockingly bright niion bag. Yup. There we are. A couple of modern lovebugs sitting next to each other while listening to a cool om-om saying:

"Apakah anda khawatir akan diserbu pasukan berjubah putih saat bermesraan di depan umum?"

He said that in his time, they got that kind of place where you could cuddle with your lover. It was Ancol. Naik verpa keliling kota sampai binaria~ hatiku jadi gembira talks about a real deal! From what i know, people still do that at Ancol. You can see couples sitting together near the beach in the dark. And then he went on talking about how our body is a media of nature and social construction.

The whole talk went fast. It was really interesting. Mbak Zoya's talk was too. She told us that biologically, it is normal that men think more about sex than women do. Earlier, Pak Rocky said "birahi itu pasti meningkat seiring perbaikan asupan protein masyarakat.", that is problematic for men.

Kemal and I stayed until the Q&A session came. We had to go earlier cause we had to watch Teater UI's show at Gedung IX FIB UI. Mas Ari, who was like a dad when he coached me for Petang Kreatif, played in this show. It's the first time i got to see him doing acting. And the style was Brecht too. The same style he taught us (Jepang 2013) for our "Penjara".

The script of the play is interesting. And the play itself was nicely played. The story is about what happens when there's no one you can put into jail cause every citizen is loyal to the government. The polices are doomed. The utopia is not a utopia for the police. It feels like a spin off of the ideal-yet-delusional-kind-of-socialist-utopia. Funny.

After that we went to Mujigae, a korean restaurant with digital concept. It's a comfy place where you can eat korean cuisine and do selfie with mini ipad available on every table (you also order the menu and request a song with it). We went there cause i told Kemal i got a crush with the -pokki rice cake thingy--what's the name again?--let me google it--tteokpokki.This cute cuisine is chewy and i simply like it though the mujigae's is served as meal, not snack like that sold by Kkuldak. Oh and it was hot spiced. I cried. Everything is better for me when it is not hot spiced. *sob*

I'm not into korean stuffs actually but i have to admit that the concept of the restaurant can please korean culture lovers and it is just a nice place to hang out.

My friday the 13th was not horror at all. <3

Tuesday, February 03, 2015

Kolam Sapardi

Kolam: Buku PuisiKolam: Buku Puisi by Sapardi Djoko Damono

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Membaca puisi Sapardi seperti menggunakan bola mata yang berbeda dimana apa yang kita lihat lewatnya terlihat lebih bening. Puisi-puisinya di buku ini romantis tanpa harus melulu bersajak tentang romansa. Salah satu puisi yang saya suka adalah:

Ketika kita membuka buku ini apakah lembaran-lembaran kertas ini bertanya untuk apa?
Ketika kita berjalan-jalan sore hari apakah trotoar bertanya mau kemana?
Ketika kita diam dan tidak berbuat apapun apakah hati kita suka bertanya kenapa?

Bagi saya puisi-puisinya mampu merasuk ke kalbu tanpa mengganggu. Seperti hening. Buku puisi yang menyenangkan untuk dibaca berulang-ulang, dijadikan teman minum teh.

View all my reviews

"Di tangannya, kata seolah mendapatkan tuah. Ungkapan verbal lumrah dalah puisi Sapardi menjelmakan sebuah 'dunia di seberang bahasa' yang enigmatik, tempat segalanya terlihat begitu bening tapi sekaligus tak tertembus, begitu akrab namun selalu tak tertangkap."

(Arif Bagus Prasetyo, Resensi di Tempo)

Buku kumpulan puisi Sapardi yang pertama kali saya baca adalah Ayat-Ayat Api. Kolam ini buku kesekiannya yang isinya sudah saya biarkan merasuk ke dalam diri saya. Saya selalu jatuh cinta dengan puisi beliau. Beliau pernah mengatakan:

"Bagi saya, sudah tidak ada lagi yang baru di dunia ini. Tema dalam puisi itu kan hanya merupakan pengulangan-pengulangan."

Jika begitu adanya maka puisi-puisi Sapardi bisa dibilang berhasil meneruskan pintalan sajak dengan pola dan yang indah. Dalam pengulangan itu ia berhasil menambahkan warna dirinya. Ia akan terus hidup dalam sajak-sajaknya.

Selain puisi di atas ada banyak lagi puisi-puisi di buku ini yang saya suka karena berhasil menyentuh jiwa. Kalimat-kalimat puisinya indah dan menenangkan.

Kau akan mendengar dendang hening
Merawatmu, tak lekang mendenting

Bukankah tidak ada huruf kapital ketika kita bicara?
Bukankah kisah cinta memang tak memerlukan tanda baca?  

Sunday, February 01, 2015

Noken Perdana

Desember lalu saya mengikuti 日本語能力試験 untuk pertama kalinya. Tadinya sih mikir ngapain ngambil JLPT kalau sertifikatnya gak akan kepake dimana-mana? karena setahu saya sertifikat yang sudah bisa berguna untuk apply pekerjaan atau beasiswa itu setidaknya N2. Tapi karena ada pemberitahuan dari dosen bahwa 日本学科 harus ikut tes-nya ya sudah saya ikut. Apa daya~

Udah sebel-sebel karena harus ikut tes-nya, ditambah lagi dengan kenyataan bahwa waktu tes akan diselenggarakan di hari dimana kemarin malamnya adalah malam puncak Festival Budaya. Petang Kreatif. Acara ini biasanya selesai dini hari hampir pagi. Dan saya mengikuti acara sampai akhir. Cuma sempat tidur di kereta dan di setiap break setelah mengerjakan soal. Heu~

Selama tes berlangsung yang saya pikirkan hanya kapan saya bisa tidur dan mama masak apa hari itu. Tapi setelah tes selesai entah kenapa rasa kantuk saya hilang. Bukannya langsung pulang saya malah mampir ke suatu tempat dan khilaf belanja pakaian. Dasar anak muda.

Dari Desember sampai baru-baru ini saya lupa sama sekali soal 日本語能力試験 sampai beberapa hari yang lalu salah seorang 先輩 saya membuat post di LINE tentang hasil dari 能力試験 dan saat itu saya baru panik. Mampus lan! Lupa lo kalau JLPT bisa gak lulus?! dan saya baru ingat katanya hasil nilainya akan dipakai untuk nilai kelas 日本語 entah itu hoax atau tidak.

Saya langsung cari-cari rangkap dari formulir untuk melihat ID dan password saya, lalu saya akses website resminya.

Lalu happy.

Saya tipe pembelajar yang menikmati learning process dan mencintai kegiatan pelahapan ilmu pengetahuan tapi siapa yang tidak suka dapat triple A? ihihihihihihi. Maaf ya norawks.

Untuk teman-teman yang belum pernah ikut JLPT, tes ini diadakan dua kali setahun dan formulirnya bisa diambil di Japan Foundation.
Alamat: Gedung Summitmas 1 3rd Floor, JL Jend.Sudirman Kavling 61-62, JAKARTA, 12190, Daerah Khusus Ibukota Jakarta 12190, Indonesia

Formulirnya tidak gratis. Tesnya juga sama dan harganya berbeda tergantung N berapa yang diambil. Jenis tesnya ada lima dari N5 yaitu yang paling dasar sampai N1 yaitu tingkat dewa.

Saturday, January 31, 2015

2014 All Year Album

Before January runs out, i wanna share my all year favorite album in 2014. Arctic Monkey's AM. I just can't get enough of this album. 41 minutes and 57 seconds of rapture from a band who are yet to reach ascension. While you think this band can't be more awesome, you know you're absolutely wrong. My favorite Arctic Monkey songs was Teddy Picker and Crying Lightning. After this album, well...

It's actually a 2013 album, but this album had accompanied me through the yesteryear and even until now. This album gives the cool feeling that even just listening to it make me feel awesome. I listen to it on the way, leisure time, before sleep, during class break, they stuck in my brain.

1. Do I Wanna Know?

It's only the first track but the awesomeness has flooded your ears. God...

Maybe I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new

2. R U Mine

The first song i listened to that belongs to this album. It can be said that this song is the ace of this album.

I go crazy 'cause here isn't where I wanna be
And satisfaction feels like a distant memory
And I can't help myself,
All I wanna hear her say is "Are you mine?"

3.  One For The Road

Don't get that sinking feeling, don't fall apart

4. Arabella

Arabella's got a 70's head
But she's a modern lover
It's an exploration, she's made of outer space
And her lips are like the galaxy's edge
And her kiss the colour of a constellation falling into place

5. I Want It All

Ain't it just like you to kiss me and then hit the road
Leave me listening to The Stones
2000 Light Years From Home

6. No. 1 Party Anthem

It's not like I'm falling in love I just want you to do me no good
You look like you could

7.  Mad Sounds

We just weren't feeling how we wanted to
You sit and try sometimes but you just can't figure out what went wrong

8.  Fireside

Isn't it hard to make up your mind?
When you're losing and your fuse is fireside

9. Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High?

This one is super cool~

Now it's three in the morning and I'm trying to change your mind

10. Snap Out Of It

This one is kinda relatable for me. *laughs* snapped out of it though.

I heard that you fell in love
Or near enough
I gotta tell you the truth…
I wanna grab both your shoulders and shake baby
Snap out of it (Snap out of it)
I get the feeling I left it too late, but baby
Snap out of it (Snap out of it)

11.  Knee Socks

And you're kissing to cut through the gloom

12. I Wanna Be Yours

Closed sweetly. The lyrics are rework of John Cooper Clarke's I Wanna Be Yours

I wanna be your Ford Cortina
I won't ever rust
If you like your coffee hot
Let me be your coffee pot

Now let's close this post with something nice. How about Arctic Monkeys' cover of this psychedelic musician.

Feels Like We Only Go Backwards. Originally by Tame Impala:

Carpe Diem

To the Virgins, Make Much of Time – Robert Herrick

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old time is still a-flying,
And this same flower that smiles today,
To-morrow will be dying.

The glorious lamp of heaven, the sun,
The higher he’s a-getting,
The sooner will his race be run,
And nearer he’s to setting.

That age is best which is the first,
When youth and blood are warmer;
But being spent, the worse and worst
Times still succeed the former.

Then be not coy, but use your time,
and while ye may, go marry;
For having lost just once your prime,
You may for ever tarry.
"The Latin term of that sentiment is carpe diem."
or in english, if not pluck the day, it is usually translated as "seize the day". Sounds familiar? Maybe you listen to Avenged Sevenfold. But i don't find that song having the spirit of carpe diem. Let me tell you the ones that i think do:
Switchfoot - Awakening

Here we are now with the falling sky and the rain
We're awakening
Here we are now with our desperate youth and the pain
We're awakening
Maybe it's called ambition, you've been talking in your sleep
About a dream, we're awakening
Air Traffic Controller - Hurry, Hurry
This one is to remind you that seizing the day doesn't mean living it carelessly. It's such a fun song!
A year goes by you wonder why not much is done
You blew right past your precious time with everyone
You've run too much in parallel
Now hurry hurry is your hell
Kris Allen - Live Like We're Dying 
We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying
 Goo Goo Dolls - Rebel Beat
You know that life is like a ticking clock
Nobody knows when it's gonna stop, yeah
Before I'm gone I need to touch someone
With a word, with a kiss, with a decent song, yeah
David Cook - Time of My Life 
The winning song of David Cook. My favorite season of American Idol it was.
I’ll taste every moment
And live it out loud
I know this is the time
This is the time
To be more than a name
Or a face in the crowd
A Day To Remember - All I Want
Let's leave no words unspoken
And save regrets for the broken
Todd Carey - The First Day
All your never ending dreams
Screaming out to come alive
The Temper Trap - Sweet Disposition

Our rights
Our wrongs
A moment of love
A dream
A laugh
A moment of love
My favorite is Hurry, Hurry.

Friday, January 30, 2015


Aduh gendut. Maaf ya, efek liburan. Kemarin saya memutuskan untuk membeli peralatan belajar dan pemuasan diri jadi saya pergi ke toko buku. Di tengah perjalanan saya pikir "ngapain sendirian?" (tumben ya, lan... biasanya juga pergi sendiri) jadi saya LINE chat saja teman saya Take. Itu dibacanya ta-ke ya bukan tek. Kenapa Take? Karena kami tinggal di kecamatan yang sama dan dari SMP sampai sekarang Take dan saya menikmati main bersama. Oh selain satu SMP, Take juga ikut Abang None Buku meskipun kami tidak berada di angkatan yang sama.

That picture above could be nice tapi kalian tidak tahu effort apa yang harus kami lalui untuk mendapatkan foto-foto ini sementara kami hanya jalan berduaan. Kami punya banyak waktu untuk sashaying in the mall~padahal Take sedang dalam minggu UAS. Katanya "gue udah belajar kok pas minggu tenang"

Pulangnya Take mengantar saya ke rumah dan mampir sebentar untuk mengobrol. Kami memang bisa mengobrol berjam-jam dari dulu. Membicarakan apa saja atau mentertawakan apa saja.


Dead Poets Society

This film will never slip out of my favorite films list. The last film that made me cry was Harry Potter. And now, after awhile~ this graceful film had made me. The story is inspired by Samuel Pickering and was written by Tom Schulman. It's such an amazing script that i decided to read the script after finishing the film and it wrenched my heart just the same. *sob*

Meet Charlie, Meeks, O Captain My Captain, Todd, Cameron, Pitts, Knox, and Neil.

The place is Welton Academy, with its pillars: tradition, honor, discipline, excellence.

The story revolves around Mr. Keating, an english teacher who just moved to Welton preparatory school, gracefully played by Robin Williams, and the boys of his class who decided to reconvene a club named Dead Poets Society. Mr. Keating's teaching and the Latin aphorism carpe diem had carved in their hearts and they started to think of things differently and tried to live their dreams. Motivating? Yeah. But this film will later slap us on the face and shout "reality pulls you back". Cause life is not only about dream, beauty, and poetry after all. But you can use this to consider:

"We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. Medicine, law, business, engineering, these are all noble pursuits, and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman: "O me, o life of the questions of these recurring, of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities filled with the foolish. What good amid these, o me, o life? Answer: that you are here. That life exists, and identity. That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse." - Mr. Keating.

NYTimes states that "the movie is too heavy for its own good." but i bet it's only because not all people enjoy poetry and the ambivalence of the verses. It's quite an easy film and simply enjoyable.

Now i quite understand why it made me cry. Because i always love learning and to me learning process is important yet people get so result oriented and forget how happy it is to know more. Learning has become compulsory. An assurance to lead a successful life. And sometimes it is caused by parents. Mr. Keating is just the perfect image of an ideal teacher to me.

Here is my favorite scene and character:

The name is Nuwanda.

Tony Takitani

When i was a freshman i read lots of Murakami's short stories and Tony Takitani is one of those which can't get out of my head i even used it for my final paper assignment last semester. Back then, my friend told me that this story was made into a film, so was interested and began to look for it and watched it and this film just pleased me so much.

And just some weeks ago i made a review on my IMDb account.

To me this film speaks this way:

When you don't know that loneliness exists, you can never feel it. There are many ways to get to know loneliness. One of them is through love.

Thursday, January 29, 2015


It was my first time attending this group's event. I was nervous. New place, new people. What should i do? And then God sent Kemal (really lan?) and he accompanied me. We couldn't help laughing over the idea about us being a couple going to a sexual matter themed event. The topic was about asexuality and the speaker was Nadya, a student of history program who's currently working on her final paper.

Embedded image permalink

Before the discussion started, Rani from communication program initiated to play Monopoli Deal Card and that one round was quite afire by forced trades and retaliations.

I enjoyed being there. To the most because it's a place where people don't judge. And i can learn many things from many people with different backgrounds. And also because they are crazy. Oh, and there were foods (lan -_-). Kemal enjoyed it too cause he decided to join. Yay.

You should check SGRC_UI on, there are lots of informative stuffs.

Monday, January 26, 2015

Why Cryptid?

My first net nickname was moaningzombie. And now i think i'll settle with cryptid. Oh, Ulan you know well that you are a creepy creep. But there is a reason behind the use of the word "cryptid" on this blog. Cryptid is derived from κρύπτω, a greek word which means hide. Cryptid itself means a creature you don't know whether it does exist or not, legend, rumor, 噂, desas-desus. It's pretty much the same with your knowledge of people. You may know the name, the background, and the habit, but there's always something hidden deep within each of human.

It applies to me. I'm a human. I may tell you many things here but there are some too that i choose not to tell. Like, knowing me in person and in here may help to give you 60-70% chance to know me but this 30-40% other might give big difference on concluding about what kind of person i am.

Some words might speak about me but not separately. And it doesn't speak about the whole. Like, when someone said that i'm an arse, they might be 40-50% true, and for something as this is a relative and subjectively assessed matter you will always have to remember that you are not always right and your assessment might differs with others'.

Another example. There's this bunch of people who said that i'm so fake. <insert abominable laugh here> Is this true? well~ not gonna tell it unless there's someone who's nice enough to say it to my face and give the arguments for why that one thinks that i am fake.

The most important thing is i'm being me and you're being you and we'll never know for sure about each other. Cause, what are we? If you think MBTI, the work done by an expert can't even describe us, why would you think that you can define me? Think. It's the new sexy.

"We're all monsters living in a dream. So you be you and i'll still be happy."

Sunday, January 25, 2015

木漏れ日 (Komorebi)

There is no direct translation of this word in English nor in Bahasa Indonesia. When you don't have the word, all you can do is describe it. Google translates it as "Sunshine filtering through foliage" and this is not wrong. For 木漏れ日 consists of three kanji:

木= Tree

漏= To escape/to leak

日= Day, sun, sunshine

The scattered particles of sunshine. The sunshine that make it through the foliage. Giving us delicate scene of dim light and shadow dancing on the ground. So serene, so calm.

When i searched about 木漏れ日i stumbled upon this:

Yes. A Komorebi Umbrella designed by Fumito Kogure and Shinya Kaneko. (here)
It's tagged ¥3,999 or in rupiah it's like 400K something~ A fancy thing like this, you don't buy the handiness but the design.

Japan has many untranslable words and 木漏れ日is just one of them. Thinking of this makes me want to re-watch Lost in Translation.

Now i wonder... what song would suit this word? Perhaps... King's X - Sunshine Rain?

"Told me feelings never go away, you have to learn to live this way. And keep yourself alive, that's what he said, that's what he said. I walk through sunshine rain."

Or The Trees by Rush? no... what about Craft Spell's Komorebi? Yup. You just can't miss this one. If you are dancing amongst the beautiful scattered light, this song can be a convenient companion. The soothing music, the subtly enchanting lyrics. Recommended.

Craft Spell - Komorebi

[Verse 1]
Take the time to know
How alone you are in this world
Just to find
Death is on your mind
As you stand still, you realize where you are
In her world
Aged and bright
My moon after the tide

[Verse 2]
How was I to show
For the time i spend alone in my head
The world nobody knows
As i lay still, your wind carried the clouds
To feel
Slow and kind
My moon after the tide

I also scribed something on

“Komorebi” has no direct translation. Japan does have a knack of getting people lost in translation. But no worries, if you don’t have the exact word then all you have to do is describe. Komorebi’s definition is the scattered sunshine that make it through the ground. The particle of sunshine that goes through the foliage and dance with the shadow. Poetic indeed. It may be caused by how japanese people (talking about traditional culture) value nature. As for the lyrics themselves, they may have no direct relation to komorebi. But you may imagine this song played as you dance or stand in the forest and komorebi pours on the ground and you. You see, this song may see komorebi as a metaphor of a situation faced or a feeling. Solitude. Just like when you look at komorebi, you may find it beautiful in the sense of the sunshine that make it through the foliage. But in the sense of scattered sunshine? there, there, as it rhymes with what you feel inside you will understand. The solitude begins to scatter you.

And um, this.

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Donnie Darko "Walk Me Home" scene

So i just watched Donnie Darko yesterday and i think i've got a crush-itis, thanks to Jake Gyllenhaal. It's a nice movie with multiple interpretations. You can say that it's about time travel, you can say that it's about schizophrenia, well... leave it to your imagination. Now why don't we just put the difficult thing aside and enjoy this moderately cute after-school walk scene?


<Donnie is walking home. Seth Devlin and his friend are pestering Gretchen.>

Seth Devlin: Hey …. has anyone ever told you that you’re sexy?

Ricky: I like your boobs.
<They both laugh.>

Donnie Darko: Hey.

Gretchen Ross. Hey.

Donnie Darko: School was cancelled.

Gretchen Ross: Do you want to walk me home?

Donnie Darko: Sure.

<Seth gestures at Donnie, but Gretchen and Donnie walk on.>

Gretchen Ross: Don’t look so freaked.

Donnie Darko. I’m not. You should check your backpack those guys love to steal shit.

Gretchen Ross. Fuck 'em.
<Gretchen turns and raises her middle finger at Seth and Ricky>

Donnie Darko: So, why did you move here?

Gretchen Ross: My parents got a divorce. My Mom had to get a restraining order against my step dad. He has emotional problems.

Donnie Darko: Oh I have those too. What kind of emotional problems does your Dad have?

Gretchen Ross: He stabbed my Mom four times in the chest.

Donnie Darko: Oh. Did he go to jail?

Gretchen Ross: No, he fled. They still can’t find him. But my Mom and I had to change our names. And I thought “Gretchen Ross” was really cool.

Donnie Darko: I was in jail once. I mean I accidentally burned down this house. It was abandoned, but still, I got held back in school and I can’t drive until I’m 21. But I’m over all of that. I … I …. I’m painting and stuff. Writing. I want to be a writer, or maybe a painter, I don’t know, or maybe both. I’ll write a book and draw the pictures. Then maybe people will understand me. I don’t know, change things.

Gretchen Ross: Donnie Darko? What the hell kind of name is that? It’s like some sort of superhero or something.

Donnie Darko: What makes you think I’m not?

Gretchen Ross: Look, I should go. For physics, Monnitoff is having me write this essay. Greatest invention ever to benefit mankind.

Donnie Darko: It’s Monnitoff. But that’s easy. Antiseptics. Like the whole sanitation thing. Joseph Lister, 1895. Before antiseptics, there was no sanitation, especially in medicine.

Gretchen Ross: You mean soap?

Donnie Darko: Well, I’m really glad school was flooded today.

Gretchen Ross: Why is that?

Donnie Darko: Because you and I would have never had this conversation.

Gretchen Ross: You’re weird.

Donnie Darko: Sorry.

Gretchen Ross: No, that was a compliment.

Donnie Darko: Well, look, errr …. you want to go with me? (laughs)

Gretchen Ross: Where do you want to go?

Donnie Darko: No, I mean like “go” with me. You know like, it’s what we call it here. “Going together”.

Gretchen Ross: Sure.

<Gretchen turns and begins to walk off.>

Donnie Darko. OK. Hey, where are you going?

Gretchen Ross: I’m going home.

<Gretchen continues home.>

Donnie Darko: So stupid! (muttered) “Where are you going?” 

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Semacam Spin-Off

Feeling nervous, i inched towards the window nearby and looked through the glass. Trying to make my mind wander, to think about anything else. I didn't want him to know how nervous i was or how hard i tried not to appear that way. I didn't want him to notice that the time we spent separately made any slight of touch felt like new. He kept chuckling at me who kept acting awkwardly. I thought, it's not fair. It's only me who feels nervous.
Then he stood right behind me, i felt something. Something pounded so hard against my back. Still, the hands were still reaching. Steady still his feet standing. But that moment i realized that despites all that, and how he could still manage to tease my awkwardness, he was just as nervous as i was.

Or maybe you were even more nervous than i was. I never felt someone's heart pounding that hard before. Haha.
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